Wish Me Well!

If you ask question to a decade-back-version-of mine, I would not have impressed you much with a witty answer, but at least I would have answered something.  Though I never claim myself to have a vibrant mind, I was happy with a decent one that I have got, that puts 2 and 2 and says 4 in a matter of minutes.

In short, simple analytical mind with some basic logical reasoning. All well till the turmoil begins to set in after kids. I started to see some steep difference in my mind, post kids.

It started with something as simple as making my kid to wash his hands.

I would ask him politely to go wash his dirt drowned fingers, with the same state of mind that added 2 and 2, and produced results accurately.

But here comes the twist. Half a hour would pass, and the little man I was having conversation with, will be doing pretty much everything, that includes, biting her sister, throwing paper rockets to toilets, and running naked around the home with a sense of exhilaration, but you can’t see his hands anyway near the water.

Another 30 or so minutes would pass by , with me repeating the hand washing request in various sound decibels that ranges from literally begging to a loud sharp scream, but nothing could take the dirt off his tiny hands.

For a onlooker, it might look like a casual-mom-and-son encounter. But it is not. Truth is far from that. A very far from that.

Inside the mind of a vexed mother, it could even be close to a disaster. At least it was for me. Because it defies the basic law of a simple request-response scenario.

Pre-motherhood, in my world,   if I want a intended response, all I have to do is frame a right request. In short, ask 2 + 2. I will get an answer. I might even get a wrong one sometimes. But that’s okay.  Understandable. Even fine too.  The point is, a request is made, a response is received. Simple. Concise. Sweet.

Now my request to son plays likes this..

I would ask a request, reframe it in low volume, repeat it again for 10 or so times, reframe it again in high volume, repeat it again for 20 or so times, only to reframe it once gain with few threatening adjectives in front, middle and where not!

See where it takes…

Needless to mention the sadness it caused when I see him still running naked across the room in high spirit. It’s just that, his conscious part of mind is sealed in gleeful world that doesn’t bother to let his shrieking mom’s request.

Sometimes all the hopeless feelings that a mother entertains in her heart, is after all, not fake.  All these utter lack of respect for a simple wish is too much for one to handle.

It makes one lose sanity. Shatters confidence. Does many other nasty things to mind.

When you really understand, through your own experiential level, that no amount of soft to screaming tones, could convince a little mind to go about washing his hands, you are really in the edge of life. I am not over exaggerating, if that’s what I am leading you to. It is a daily endeavor at home, one you need to go through, to get the taste of this pain.

That’s how my sudden interest on psychology happened. I need to know,  how kids mind works, not for the boy of course, but for my own sanity and such. I can’t take this abuse any more. So, just to remain unshaken from kids-oriented-trauma, I have been reading a ton lot books from all revered authors who has delved deep into kids psyche. Wish me well.

Of Life & Such Other Things

When you realize your last post was close to a decade earlier…you really do understand that life does wait for none. I mean theoretically we all know, but this is actually a moment of real realization for me.

While I was casually day dreaming about many things that happened years back, some where from the deepest corner of the mind, came a thought, that remined me of good old blogging days.

I, quickly with the vague remembrance of this blog name, searched for it. Here it is, remains unscathed with not a worm to hurt it. It is just as pristine as I left it years back.

While this blog may have remained untouched, life doesn’t.

I stopped blogging after I got married and had a girl.

Then my boy happened.

A new business happened..

Corona happened…

I happened to get all serious about all that is happening around me…

Until today..

When the day dreaming started and I happened to stumble upon this blog again.

Settled down…

I really don’t know what I have been doing, but days are running fast. It’s almost a month since I came back, but it feels like yesterday. I can safely say, I have settled down at last.

 Upon landing, my daughter- for heaven known reason- got allergic towards everything she touched or breathed. This literally bothered me. So, for the past few weeks, we both were touring all the hospitals in and out. Needless to mention my baby’s aversion to doctors, and her innate skill to kick and scream at them. I tell you, crying babies are stronger than kick boxer. I had to drag myself between her and the doctor to avoid any nuisance. Now after so much of hardship, her health is improving a lot. She has once again regained her lost energy and that makes us all even busier.

 After a year gap, Chennai office suddenly appeared to me as an alien. During my absence, my colleagues seem to have picked up lots of naughty habits. Once that troubles me is that stealing of chairs. Yes you heard me right. I cannot fathom what had gone wrong in my co-habitants mind. But they are completely occupied by the thoughts of stealing other chairs. Leave your chair for a meeting and you will never find the trace of it in this lifetime. Simply gone. So far to my regret I have lost nearly 20 or so cushion seats to those predators. Now finding those seat stealers has become a part of my daily work.

 As I mentioned earlier, my daily 5hr eternal journey to office has kicked back in. And that provides ample time to read and relish. I have been devouring crime fictions with sweat dripping over me in an oven like office bus. But who cares ? J To my surprise, I have started to enjoy this long journey as well….

White Corridor by Christopher Fowler

Christopher Fowler books are my latest addiction. His books featuring elderly detectives Arthur Bryant and John May in Peculiar crime unit (PCU) are gems to read. So far, I have read three of his books and each of them made me glued to his story till I finish it off. The last one being ‘White corridor’. 

 

In this, the pathologist of Peculiar Crime Unit (PCU) has been found dead behind fastened mortuary making the entire team at PCU as suspects for the crime. For the first time, Arthur and May is not there to investigate the murder as they get struck in a blizzard. Hence the PCU has to solve the crime without the aid of their senior mentors.  In the meanwhile, Arthur and May finds another serial killer who waits to murder the stranded people in the blizzard.

 

The novel has two interesting plots and Christopher Flower has weaved a chilling suspense out of it. The chapters are intertwined with the happenings at PCU and Arthur/May’s adventure at blizzard. The elderly detectives crude humour and unorthodox approach are fun to read. And most importantly, the ending connected all knots making it a most satisfying read. I couldn’t pinpoint any cons in this novel. I would highly recommend Christopher’s novel to anyone who loves crime fiction.

Aftermath of snow

Snow filled the weekends. London is so beautiful now. I mean the whole city looks as if it’s been topped with Vanilla cream. Though the climate is still hard to beat, it is amazing to watch the whitish city.

 I couldn’t go out with my family much, as I don’t want to risk my daughter’s health for my fancy desires. However, I stared at my bedside window for hours. Never seen a scenic beautiful place ever before. This makes the whole trip to London worthwhile.

 But the bad side of this snow is that, I find it extremely difficult to wake up in the morning. Man! Morning 7:00 clock looks like midnight. My morning routines takes a plunge because of glum weather.

 Also snow has severely disrupted my commute to office. Each day I had to walk at least 20 mins both ways to reach office. Now that the roads are deeply buried under several inches of snow, I literally struggle to keep myself on the ground. A careless flick of my eyes could simply aid me to break my head or something.  In short I could easily dig grave for myself. For some reason, I always think of walking stick when wander past on the snow.

 Now my cute daughter thinks snow is attractive than her morning cereals. Whenever we make some plaything out of snow for her to touch and exclaim, she simply tires to eat that!!!

 In short, show touches each of us in different way.

For the first time

Two Pair of Thermal wears, two pair of socks, hand cloves, sweater, woollen scarf, woollen hood, a long woollen coat and a big brolly was accompanying me today morning in addition to the standard outfit I wear everyday. In far-off place, a car, which in remotest sense looked like gift-wrapped by thermo coal jerked to move. I rubbed my eyes and rushed towards it.  It is not thermo coal, but showering snow. The temperature is –2 degrees. Some where inside the layers of clothes my body trembled, my hands cursed me for not wearing another set of cloves, in all I sighed. I began to stroll.

This is the first time I am witnessing snow.  All my previous intros to snow were only through Tamil movie songs, where the heroine wearing fancy dresses would chase the hero in the snow filled mountains. Those songs painted most enviable picture of snow to me.  I thought snow is cool, I mean in a different way.

But the real snow is NOT cool. You know what I mean. In spite of the countless inner garments, I felt as If I am laid bare-bodied on ice tubes. I thanked the unknown for my prudence to wear two thermal wears. Otherwise, how would I have felt?

Later in the evening, at home, once again I watched one of those short dress actress dancing in snow. ‘How romantic!!!’ said my partner. I gave him a horror-struck look.

BTW, Happy Pongal to all!!! Those who are munching hot Pongal at home town, I envy you !!!.

Resolutions

Last year I most miserably failed to keep up with any of the resolutions I envisioned. I badly want to do something useful this year at least.

First and foremost, the time I spent with my baby. I really want to avoid the bad look that my baby gives before she goes to bed. She seems to be asking ‘What have you done today for me?’ uh? Office work and cooking consumes most of my time. I should really spend some quality time with her each day no matter what!  even if my office work comes crushing down to my feet or a good dish burns badly at tawa !!!

Second comes the reading. Last year I could read only less than 12 books. Sad. I almost lost the good habit that I cherish a lot. I should bring back the good old ‘Book’ days. This year I plan to read one book each week.  Target – 52 Books this year.

Then comes the writing. All I do these days is type office emails with million bugs. Once if I tried to experiment my writing in office emails and the response I got was, ‘Don’t be over verbose in your next email’. Hence, I stick to the standard ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ replies in my emails. This year I should do some writing at least in my blog. A post per week? Let’s see

Few days back, some body asked me the name of ‘President of India’ and all I could give was ‘Blank stare’. Seriously. That bloody name slipped my mind. The problem is I didn’t read news for the past 5 – 6 months. Completely ‘out of world ‘ feeling. Before I could ponder on my motherhood for a year, the world has literally transformed to something else and now I fail to answer what a 3^rd grade kid could do. So, I am spending 5 mins each day to catch up with ‘The Hindu’ headlines.

During pregnancy I gained 14 kgs. Probably a world record!!! Now I need to reduce 1.5 kg to hit my pre-pregnancy weight. This is okay for me as I look much more humanely than before. Because earlier I was the object for ridicule whenever weight issues crops up. Many thought I was malnourished. Now people don’t comment on my eating habits. Still, I need to do some exercise each day. Ever since my baby was out, when I walk I feel like I forgot to take my tummy with me. All mothers would understand this feeling. So just to tone up a bit, I should stick to an exercise regime. Currently doing yoga and abs exercise each day for 10 mins.

This is all for now. I should add more to this list. So far, I could keep up with all of these.

A Crucial Year

I have been peeking on and off this blog just to keep me reminded that once this is the place I cherished a lot. Ever since I got married my blogging life took a tumble. And since I stepped in to motherhood, this blog has almost been wiped out from my life. Yes ! Literally wiped out.

 When I think back on what had happened to me for the past couple of years, I feel little overwhelmed. I got married on March2011. Became a mother on Dec 2011. Took up a new job role on May 2012. Moved to London on July 2012. Now I have a family to run, family problems to vent out, baby to take care, new job to learn, a weird country to adjust. Now that’s too much. 2012 is too much. Good that it was over. Bye bye 2012 !!!  I would mark this as most crucial year and dedicate many chapters to it if I ever attempt to write my biography.

 Couple of year back, those who know me, understands that all I know is to read, work and then sleep. Life was as simple as it was.  Now if you ask me, what am I doing each day, I could write two page essay and still wait for more additional papers. This transformation of ‘do-nothing-girl’ to ‘super-duper-women’ has literally taken a big toll me. No kidding.

 Now coming to my 1 year toddler, yes, she has turned one and I am wondering when this all have happened. She is the single most being who notoriously reminds me every day of this ‘Super women’ image. Every morning a kick from her teeny legs is enough to put me in spin and rotate for the rest of the day. I confess, babies can keep parents busier than President Obama.

 I don’t want to retrospect much about work on this post. It will take 2 more post to vent out the happenings at work. And about London? No comments. Will continue on next post.

 Wish you all a Very Happy New Year !!!

Sparkling Water

It’s more than a month I am here and I find UK more entertaining than US.  When I am still trying to grasp the culture over here, I can no way pass judgements on it. However, quirky incidents unfolds daily making me wonder what I have in store for the upcoming day.

I always have opinions when my DH (Dear husband) ventures for Household shopping.  It’s not that he can’t do shopping. Somehow, he exactly buys what I ask him not to buy. His Mars mind works that way. So when my husband said, ‘let me go alone and buy the stuffs’, I was like – ‘raising my eyebrows’ in concern. Obviously missing my raising eyebrows, he stepped out.

 In 30 minutes, DH entered home imparting a contended smile. I was busy feeding my DD (Dear Daughter) and my daughter was busy kicking me. Something had been bothering her and all I could do was wondering! Then an idea struck, I asked my DH to get her water. Imparting another contented smile, my husband handed over me a crystal clear water bottle, which has the label sparkling water on it.

 My hungry baby gulped it greedily. The next moment, the sparkling water was all over my face. Of course I understand babies can spit at their mother whenever they feel so. But what I cannot fathom is, why that killer look at my child’s face? Hmm..Weird. With the wounded heart, I handed over DD to DH.

A frown replaced DH’s contented smile.  He said, he never know that Club Soda has this fancy name ‘Sparkling water’.

Back..

New Job, Marriage and that followed many more things prevented me the pleasures of blogging.  I assume these events turned me to see things with mature eyes. At least, that’s what I have promised to my well wisher when I got married.  So I am going to take up this mature women role hereafter. No joking. Seriously.